Belonging is like curry.

Woah! I know, hear me out:

Do you like curry?

Maybe not ‘curry’ as such, but another spice mix?

Curry is not ONE spice, but a MIX of a lot of different flavors. It really depends on what you personally like and how culture raised you to understand and like their preferred mix.

Same goes for belonging.

Belonging is a mix of emotions, behaviors and expectations. It never even crosses your mind that other versions curry/belonging exist when all you ever had is that one mix.

And it can be soooo hard to get used to, or even like another local mix that contains other flavors that you never had bevor. Or maybe local life misses one flavor you really need to have in order to feel ‘at home’?

So there you go: Belonging is like curry! When they’re out of your prefered mix at the store, you need to learn to cook differently…. or, alternatively, start growing your own spices.

Last February I had the great pleasure to speak at the Mind Your Business Summit in Lund. Obviously I talked about belonging and that somewhat bitter taste of regret that is the most common new addition to ‘the curry mix’ of belonging for internationals living abroad.

But let’s take kale for example. It’s fairly bitter and really hard to chew on. It doesn’t taste great raw. You would never have the thought that you need to ‘fix kale’ by adding sugar (🤢) for example. you just need to learn how to cook it/work with it to get the best nutrients out of it.

In the same way you don’t need to ‘fix your feelings’ neither.

🚨Our emotions don’t hurt us, they ‘add information in context’.

Information is intelligence.

Thus: emotional intelligence – EQ!!!🚨

Some of it might taste bitter, but it has vital nutrients we need for the future!!!

Intelligence is not a problem we need to solve, but information we need to work with, so that we achieve more refined results.

When does it make the most sense to work on, and refine your EQ?

ohhh… obviously ALWAYS. But it has always felt the most fruitful and rewarding for my clients when they come to me FEELING STUCK.

“Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? Like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make progress? I know that feeling all too well. It’s a lonely place to be: stuck in the same place, repeating the same actions, never getting anywhere. It’s a daunting sensation but it doesn’t have to stay that way.”

‘Stuckness’ is not a matter of the brain and you not knowing what to do. ‘Stuckness’ is a matter of emotions, uncertainty and self-trust.

Taking the time to sit down and investigate what your emotional landscape looks like and what this intelligence is trying to tell you is where the knot becomes undone. The only problem is: if you are indeed feeling stuck you have been already thinking and feeling alot. you’ve been ‘stuck on’ the problem and it’s the single sided view on it that keeps you in the hamster wheel.

What you need is a fresh perspective and a sounding board. You need a structure that helps you look at your life from a 360° angle to give you clarity over the entire situation and not just the problem.

Would you try a structured solution approach to a twisted problem?

I got cha covered, mon ami. What if you could figure out what that one next right step for you is? That one thing that is deeply meaningful to you and what to do to get closer to it…. one afternoon to figure out what to do in the next 1-3months that will make you feel completely ‘unstuck’?

If so – all you need to do is go here:

Harnessing Emotional Intelligence for business success


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About Nic

Nic is a Designer, turned Cultural Adaptation Coach, turned Positive Psychology Practitioner and Workshop Facilitator.

She lived in 7 different countries, on three different continents, speaks 6 languages, and an avid advocate for the Inner Development Goals and on a mission to help design belonging and raise hope for all.

Meet with Nic via zoom